dissapointment

Merry Christmas – of course to all my Christians’ friends (if only you guys read this..heh).

Its almost new year, 2008. I’m turning 24 next year in October, and guess what? I still have no job! Isn’t that nice, peeps?

This morning..or should I say almost afternoon? (wutever..) I went to this restaurant with my parents, having our brunch. I noticed 1 figure that is familiar to me. She is a friend back in secondary school. I don’t remember her name since I’m not very good remembering people’s names. But I knew her. I am so sure that she doesn’t recognize me (I’m totally different person now - much presentable, maybe? =P ). she’s not really a friend, but schoolmate. I don’t remember talking to her back in school. If you curious, I was not an approachable person and I was a person who don’t mix with other people..(if u understand what I mean). But im not anymore…. =) And why am I typing this was because she drove a nice car…yes, a car and I assume that is her own car. I don’t know but my instinct said that was hers. That particular person was not a “student” if u understand me and I believe most teachers would never believe she’ll have what she have now, compared to me and my other friends…A JOB and money and to buy things like car, maybe? I come to know also that she has a pretty great job too! That makes me wonder, she didn’t even get into university and at 23 she seems comfortable with her life… and me? I drive car given by parents, jobless, RM60 in my purse and once again JOBLESS! Why should I waste my precious 5 years and at the end someone who didn’t even get 1 A in her SPM has a better life than mine? Am I complaining? Am I whining? Yes I am! yippy!!!!

You guys might think that I’m such ungrateful spoilt brat or whatever, but if you are in my shoes right now, you might feel the same! Why didn’t I just work after school and don’t bother to get into university and have to pay RM26000 debts to PTPTN ? Am I happy? I even have this thing in mind – im- gonna- get- my- master thingy when I don’t even know what I want at this point! I’m frustrated! I really am! dammit!

Its nothing, peeps… I called this self-reflection, maybe? And I wanna share it you~~ =)